No More New Year’s Resolutions.
In my opinion, resolutions are cognitive distortions based in “All or Nothing thinking” in “stopping” behaviours that have been labelled as “bad.” Setting resolutions is a sure way to feel like crap about your health, body and life!
Resolutions can be considered “unhelpful” ideas or thoughts. Goals on the other hand, focus on mental clarity, planning, ambition and a desire to change through taking ACTION. Goals require tapping into one’s unique potential, abilities and strengths. Goals challenge you to do things that are hard, despite your feelings.
Instead of being so hard on yourself for not succeeding in your attempts to improve yourself in a particular year, focus on your emotional and physical strengths that can carry you throughout thus far. Focus on what you have already overcome and what you CAN do and celebrate that.
The reason why so many resolutions fail is because they are too rigid and are based on the process of removing only negative bad habits, rather than creating better habits and routines. Far too often, resolutions fail to follow scientifically proven evidence-based steps for success. According to Reaume & Park (2018), studies in neuroscience link goal setting and life experience as a sure way to turn a resolution into reality.
Many people this time of year set very unrealistic/ unachievable goals out of desperation for self-improvement. In traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we evaluate a person’s readiness for a change and set S.M.A.R.T goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time Sensitive.) which is a better approach to change.
Using goal setting meetings and strategies I can explore thoughts, feelings and behaviours collaboratively with every client I work with. With the use of Socratic Questioning (clarification questions) related to health, fitness, happiness, adversity and confidence, I can help my clients clarify what they really need to work on (a.k.a resolutions). I can then implement specific strategies to give client’s feedback and bring a new awareness to the habits/behaviours that have been keeping them stuck.
With the use of self-monitoring activities, worksheets, journaling exercises, moods/stress scales, and activity tracking, I can bring attention to current biopsychosocial and emotional factors that may be currently affecting a client’s ability to follow through with their health and fitness goals. As noted by Engel (1977) thoughts, feeling and behaviours cannot be overlooked because they influence physiology and how a person adapts to their lifestyle.
at
Let’s look at typical example: If a client wants to lose weight and have more energy, we can measure weight loss with metrics, but we cannot measure energy. To measure “progress” I must have a client describe (in a thought record or energy scale) how much energy the client has when:
1) playing with their children
2) climbing stairs or
3) getting in a 10-minute workout.
The idea is to set smart achievable goals and not to change lifestyle drastically, but to make small simply changes weekly until the new habits stick. From there one can begin to stack habits as they experience more success.
To attain a goal there needs to be a sense of mastery. Mastery can be promoted by implementing a written commitment/accountability contract or action plan with a therapist or coach. Frankly, you cannot rely on motivation! Motivation and feelings are fickle and they come and go with your daily triggers and moods. We must rely on routine, consistency and ACTION.
Whatever the “goal” a client may have, it must be ‘believable and authentic” to them. With the work I do with women, I look at educating clients and equipping them with strategies that align with their lifestyle and the skillset to overcome any adversity showing up in their lives.
Take another example; wanting to lose 20 pounds may be a great long-term goal. I use a 6-step goal setting formula to break long term goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Therefore, it may be easier for the client lose 5 to 7 pounds in 4 to 6 weeks, while working on changing behaviours gradually and celebrating “mini victories” along the way.
To evaluate goal progress and success, I often use a very holistic lens and use follow up questions throughout the transformation process.
Here are (3) follow-up questions:
1- When you lose “X” amount of weight… what will that do for you? Explain?
2-When you have “more energy” …who will you share it with?
3-When you can “run 2 km” … What will you be able to do better in your life?
I teach clients to banish their resolution(s) and turn them into goals. I explore both the costs and benefits of achieving that goal, including the emotional significance, and the level of desire needed for them succeed.
Through respect focused coaching, I teach clients that there is nothing wrong with asking for help and accountability when making long-term or short-term changes. It helps the process along faster.
In 2025, awaken your “own personal transformation journey” and move with the natural ebbs and flows of life; fuelled with inspiration and practical skills, rather than resulotions.
If your interested JOIN the UNBREAKABLE womens coaching community.
