STOP Comparing Yourself!
It is time to get UNSTUCK.
Do you notice yourself scrolling endlessly, saying in your head:
“ I wish I had her abs”
“Gosh they are so lucky to have a relationship like that” #couplegoals
I get it. There is a very real psychological need to compare your life and body to others.
Back in the 1950s, famed psychologist Leon Festinger, Ph.D. coined the term social comparison theory.
The idea: In order to gauge our “success” in any given area of life—career success, intelligence, and yes, appearance—we look to one another for points of reference.
Making comparisons is a complex set of human emotions that keeps us stuck in that never ending spiral of “I'm not good enough” which then lead to tons of procrastination with our goals. Also, the comparison complex makes us “hate” our bodies.
In today’s blog, I will give you the motivation and tools to remove yourself from that unhealthy emotional loop.
Regardless of where you are in your fitness journey, you constantly feel like you are not where you “should be,” that everyone else is doing better than you and that your efforts are not good enough! This is called the comparison game. And if your stuck in this game it feels soul sucking and crashing.
The good new is… you don’t have to play this game anymore.
Here are 5 strategies to stop comparing yourself to others physically
#1 Focus on your actions not your outcomes
Maybe you’d like to be a size 4. Or bench 300 pounds. Or run a 6-minute mile.
These kinds of benchmarks often seem meaningful. Perhaps because they offer an objective way to compare ourselves to others. (Red flag alert!) You don’t have to wonder how you stack up; the numbers will tell you.
For some people, these goals are achievable. But for others? They can be totally demoralizing.
After all, we can’t fully control how our bodies will respond to a nutrition or training program. And by setting goals that require a certain outcome, anything that falls short can feel like a failure.
Especially when we see others succeed.
The solution: Rather than focusing on the end result, concentrate on completing daily actions that’ll help you lose fat or get stronger or run faster. Build habit-based goals
For example, if you’d like to lose fat, you might set goals such as:
Eating lean protein at every meal
Having five servings of produce per day
Exercising for 30 minutes, three days a week
These actions, done consistently, are examples of how you lose fat. And they’re under your control.
As goals, they shift your mindset away from comparison, and provide more opportunities for you to celebrate your successful efforts—instead of thinking about everything you’ve yet to accomplish.
To be sure, focusing on actions over outcomes may require a mental adjustment on your part. But with practice, it’ll feel start to feel natural and right.
#2 Put things into perspective every day
It’s easy to obsess over what we don’t like about our bodies.
Cellulite on the backs of our legs
How our belly looks when we don’t hold it in
Body parts we think are too skinny- or flabby-looking
No matter who you are, you can probably name at least a couple. And too often, these thoughts take up way more headspace than they should.
But by reminding ourselves what really matters in life, we can dilute these negative feelings, and make them less powerful.
How? By the simple act of daily journaling.
Don’t think of this as another item on your to-do list. Consider it a quick-and-easy way to get a daily dose of perspective.
Every day, simply write:
Three things you’re grateful for
One thing you’re excited about
One thing you’re proud of (from that day or the day before)
Making this list can give you a major mental boost. Do it routinely, and you’ll transform your mindset from a place of comparison to a more appreciative state.
As an added bonus, you can look back on previous entries and see how far you’ve come.
#3 Eliminate your comparison triggers
Take inventory of the content you are consuming each day… Is it helpful?
Think of a behavior, activity, or place aimed at helping you get healthier. Are there any that cause you to feel less than adequate?
It could be your favorite meal-prep blogger’s website… because she seems to have endless amounts of time to experiment with new and delicious macro-friendly recipes.
And your life just isn’t like that.
Or it could be:
That advanced spin class where you struggle to keep up
A diet that leaves you feeling guilty because you’re always “cheating”
The weight loss challenge group you joined at work
Ask yourself:
Is there a specific place, person, or practice that always makes you feel “not good enough?”
If you can put your “trigger” for self-comparison on hold, you can get the space you need to reassess your situation and decide what you really want. Then, if you’d like to continue, you can return to that situation with a clear head and realistic expectations.
#4 Transform your social network
Look through your friends and “following” lists, and ask yourself whether each person or account brings joy to your life. If not, unfriend or unfollow. (We told you there’d be tough decisions.)
Start following people who inspire you, educate you, or just make you laugh.
These can be people you know, or celebrities and influencers who give you positive feels. Your goal is to custom-build a peer group that fosters love for you and your body.
When I’ve given clients this task, they often report that social media, for the first time ever, is a happy place for them—a place that’s now contributing to their growth, instead of hindering it.
#5 Seek meaningful connections with others
Whether it’s online or in real life, sharing our struggles and stories with other people can be a way to build genuine connection, community, and support—and a lot more uplifting than scrolling through Instagram.
Turn your attention to those who love you for who you are… and who help you love yourself.
Love Tania
xo
